Hockey freshman brings new meaning to the idea of club training.

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This is the moment an Exeter hockey club fresher realised he was going on a 16-hour round trip to Edinburgh.

Ben Sully, right, at the moment of defeat

Fifth team goalkeeper Ben Sully was the unlucky loser at Exeter uni hockey club’s annual Edinburgh Fives social on Wednesday night.

Forty freshmen started the mass game of Fives, which sees the loser catch a train from Exeter to Edinburgh and back again in just one day.

Young Sully faced second teamer Tom Abell in the final. When the intrepid keeper held out five fingers as Abell guessed “five”, he was off to Scotland.

Sully being sent on his merry way

The freshman left Exeter’s main station on the 08.23 on Thursday morning. He arrived in the Scottish capital at 16.05.

He spent most of his journey north gazing out the window.

Sully in a surprisingly empty carriage

However, in a heartwarming twist, Sully was greeted at Edinburgh station by Edinburgh Uni hockey players. The club heard of the Exeter fresher’s journey on Twitter and were on the platform to present him with a bottle of wine, chocolates and a bunch of flowers.

It was Christmas come early for the Exeter freshman

Edinburgh picked up a re-tweet from Team GB hockey player Dan Fox as news of the fresher’s journey spread across social networks. The Edinburgh club is already planning a return fixture in February.

Touched by their generosity, Sully exchanged club ties with the Edinburgh players before climbing aboard the 16.52 back to Exeter. He arrived home at 00.55 this morning.

The tie exchange

Return tickets from Exeter to Edinburgh cost around £170. Don’t worry though, the fresher wasn’t left out of pocket and he was awarded a new club tie on his return.

Home safe and sound

Exeter hockey club captain Andrew Miller said: “Edinburgh Fives is an annual game and it’s great that this year our Edinburgh hockey partners decided to get involved. Exeter hockey club look forward to welcoming one of them to us in February.”

The Tab salutes fresher Ben Sully and Edinburgh’s hockey players. This truly is the spirit of Christmas.

  • Lady Mcfemale

    would really like to hear the “lads night out” version of this article. Would be very enlightening tbh

    • Anon

      So True

    • Dean

      Truth is most lads nights out end up in choosing not to go out and playing fifa instead. Boys are quite boring tbh

      • Trololol

        YOUR boys are quite boring. When you say most lads end up playing fifa, do you mean you and your online friends?

        • K Hood

          never played fifa in my life, too many great girls out there to be playing with balls.

          • Morgan Freeman

            oooh! such alpha male you are!

            • LR

              that is the problem, The alpha males and the brutes go to the nightclub to chase their pray, whereas, you start at the bar, get a bit drunk, head to one persons place, set up a LAN network whilst drinking, (Not easy), and get the pizza’s on the go, play games with close friends, have more drinks, have a laugh, crash out. All the good guys are not at the clubs, they are enjoying drinks, good company, pizza and a shared experience.

              • Scott

                With an abundance of girls.

              • JoeS7

                Are most boys incapable of having fun at nightclubs without attempting to get with girls?

          • norm

            you’re one of the creepers then…

    • bob

      1. too late to go out
      2. get in cab anyway
      3. turn around
      4. tesco run
      5. go back
      6. get high
      7. one guy starts shouting about his views on the financial system while everyone else discusses the footy
      8.south park
      9.bed

      • andrewi

        No. 7 made me lol, mainly cos I’m usually that guy

      • norm

        7 can be changed to politics and current military affairs too

    • Ellie

      Urgh I went on a lads night out at uni, and this allowed me to spend the night being continuously parred off to hook up with girls despite being personally invited. Terribly boring and I ended up going home sober. Each lads night here on in is was the same, or they’d get in horrendous brawls with another group of guys.

    • norm

      if on a night out with my mates we get smashed in whatever way possible… that does also mean sitting with about 4 of you listening to whatever is on someone’s ipod but that awkwardness is all over in about 20 minutes anyway… as soon as we go to town we hit a bar, not a club, get even more wasted then saunter over to a club, fail at dry humping and chatting up and end up having a kebab and an emotional chat with the old wise man getting his takeaway.

  • wasteoftime

    that’s one of the worst things I’ve ever read.

    • Rigo Costa

      Someone is mega butt hurt by truth.

      • Kate

        Probably more upset by the writer’s God-awful grammar.

        • Leon

          Who gives a shit.

          • Ryanelk

            You pathetic waste of sperm. Just read on if you are humourless!

            • Leon

              If I would have wanted any comeback, I would have scraped it from your mothers teeth last night.

              • wut

                How adhesive is your sperm if you have to scrape it off?

                • Leon

                  Ask your mother.

                  • Phil

                    Hahahahah! Can’t breathe!!

          • Sam

            A UNI student ;)

            • Leon

              Awkwardly, I’m a UNI student and quite frankly don’t care about grammar when it’s not a serious read.

              • James Jimbo Graham

                You should. everyone should care about grammar and spelling or you become, like, american.

                • James Jimbo Graham

                  see my above post about not caring about my own grammar when posting this late at night or this pissed, but caring about grammar in what i read. What the hell do as i say not as i do.

        • James Jimbo Graham

          compared to some of the posts on the internet this guy could write the oxford English dictionary. (I know I hardly bothered reaching for the shift key in my own post. or quotation marks. orv the other bracket.

          • jayjd

            congratulations, you wrecked a funny thread of comments. millions of sperm used in conception and you’re the result? go play with ya crayons :-)

      • Kim Kardashian

        Someone is a dirty homophobe

  • Anonymous

    I’m a girl and this is 100% spot on. Good on you mate for writing what all we girls pretend to have forgotten in the morning…

    • why can’t they just be a hole

      I always knew it was bollocks when women say the forgot what happened, it’s just to save themselves the embarrassment of the night before. Sick of female dramas

      • Kibetha

        Oh no… some of us genuinely remember nothing. That’d be a blessing if my imagination didn’t fill in the blanks with even worse embarrassment.

      • seriously?

        someone called ‘why can’t they just be a hole’ gets 44 likes?

  • Anonymous

    Genuinely had it the opposite way round – More tears from the lads than girls ‘she called me gay’ ‘my girl wont text me back, i dont know what ive done’

    • douchebag

      all you’re male friends are gay

      • Kate P

        *your

    • Vlad Putin

      Hah ther is nuthing worse than beeng caled gay!!!!!!!!! I always crie when somone cals me gay!

  • Gen

    Aside from the “she’s crying, the only possibility is it’s about a boy” thing, yeah girl’s nights out are pretty messy, and I must have my cheesy chips for a night to be deemed a success.

    • readitproperly

      That’s not really what he said

  • Not a girl

    I can’t help but think that this was definitely written by a girl

  • BlueHairedBombshell

    I agree I don’t do this myself cuz I don’t drink but I do take care of ppl like that cheers to u!

  • Must Try Harder

    I must agree with “wasteoftime”. That was one of the weakest of the ‘funny’ articles i’ve had the disappointment of reading. Don’t quit your day job Timo…

    • Disgruntled Mathmo

      Day job? He goes to Nottingham Trent.

      • SirJewsalot

        Yeah he’s not going to get a day job.

  • Florian Varga

    Very funny and relevant article! Completely agree with all of this :)

  • damien

    Women are the most unattractive things when drunk! Maybe its why were seeing an increase in the population of gay men

    • vladimir putin

      Ye they r all ugly and not ladieez, gurls shood be pretyy and thin wiv big boobs and long har like dem ones off towie and made in chelse they r reel gurls, only boiz shood get drunk cos it dont matter if dey r ugly, boiz aint ment to be pritty.. gd point abaat gay men, deffo more peeple desiding to be gay nowdays, duno wy they dont just stay straiyt? Luv the trent!

      • Sam

        Your a very sexist pig that needs to learn how to spell.. Before I throw a dictionary at your face, or after, I don’t mind.

        • haz

          sarcasm…

        • schwarma don

          The guy’s username is vladimir putin… ffs of course he’s joking you banana

          • jayjd

            you called her/him a banana. CLASSIC!

            • wut

              How is calling someone a banana classic. Stfu.

              • anon

                twat

        • learnajokewhenyouseeone

          Stupid bint

        • Annie

          *you’re

        • Bonsoir

          You’re

        • Geez

          You’re*

        • Anonymous

          Brilliant reply

        • you mess

          How do you not understand the sarcasm in that. How are you capable of thinking you are so very intelligent and correcting spelling while not being able to comprehend simple sarcasm?

        • Anon

          *you’re.
          Please check all spelling and grammar before trying to insult. That was a big fail!

          • Boyo

            I love how people think correcting grammar is a good comeback to insults; lol no, it’s boring, the grammar nazi is done and dead, please and thank you

            • Josh

              everyone loves correcting you’re, as if only a select few people understand your and need to inform the less capable.

          • sick of retards fighting

            correcting someone’s grammar and spelling? get off your high horse and get that stick out of your collective rectums. now I understand I can not direct this to every grammar Nazi bastard here. but rest assured this comment includes you.

            Also, Sam there was indeed a bit of passive sarcasm there. probably a good idea to really think about thing like this before your morals get the best of you.

        • La Merde

          how come people don’t seem to notice sarcasm, irony and satire anymore?

          • CreepDoBop

            A lot of sarcasm can’t be understood over the internet, the only way for a lot of people to understand it is if people clarify their sarcasm by ending what they’re typing with (!)

        • J

          Cringe

      • gabby

        What a knobish comment… is that how you get all those girls that you’re talking about?

        • captain obvious

          he’s obviously being ironic…?

          • andrewi

            This is just a demonstration of how little women know the internet outside facebook, youtube and other popular social networks.

            • Facepalm

              Except most of the people failing to recognise the sarcasm are guys.

        • sense

          It is clearly 100% irony you moron

      • Chloe

        You need to step into the real world lads like you make me feel sick :)

        • baraco barner

          learn how to recognise sarcasm, it will serve you well.

      • bob

        Yeah, imagine not wanting to have sex with the human embodiment of a sloth. the horror.

      • Howabout No

        So if people decide to be Gay, when did you decide to be straight? and you must really know how to flatter a girl too, bro

        • how about understand sarcasm

          ..

      • kayleigh

        First of all learn how to spell. Second of all most of my male friends wouldn’t go anywhere near the chelsea girl ‘stereotype’ your saying every girl should be like. They wear to much make-up, they’re to high maintenence, and you need money to look that good. So imagine if all girls where how you expect them to be…there’d be alot of unhappy relationships and lonely men

        • Caz

          ‘You’re’ saying
          ‘Too’ much make- up
          ‘Too’ high maintenance
          ‘Were’ how you expect them to be

          Ironic……… seeing as how the first point you made was ‘learn how to spell’!

          Oh and he’s threw out a line and you bit in the most comical way!

          • Your Mother

            What an absolute LEGEND

        • all girls should be thin

          how are you people so unable to understand sarcasm? what the fuck is wrong with you all, urghhhh it fucking burns

      • Ollie Bedford

        First of all, go to school or read a dictionary, your spelling is so bad it’s painful to read. 2nd, Towie and Chelsea girls are fake and wouldn’t go anywhere near them.
        Girls can be any shake they like, Not our choice as men to decide that. Boob size. Who gives a crap, boobs are boobs and girls girls are pretty no matter the size.
        If only boys could drink, we would be fucked. You wouldn’t ever get laid and girls would be so annoyed with us that they would never speak to us again.
        So get some respect, stop being a pig and get some education or a fucking job

        • wow

          Yes, because I think they were being serious….

        • ahahaha fucking idiots

          How are you so ignorant to the simple irony in his comment!!!!

          • ahaha fucking idiot

            How are you so ignorant that you don’t know the meaning of irony?

        • whiteknighttwathat

          first of all, stop being an absolute fucking imbecile and learn to recognise sarcasm. jesus christ, are you on the spectrum?

          • Scooby

            ‘Are you on the spectrum?’ – Love it!

      • natasha

        What and a guy that hasnt got a clue how to spell isnt ugly!!? poor grammar is one of the most unattractive traits a guy can have lol

        • natashwot

          a lack of sense of humour and the inability to recognise sarcasm is one of the most unattractive traits a girl can have.

      • 8x combo

        The irony of this thread being that everyone has been telling you to learn to read, yet none of them could read…

    • anon

      Yes, because sweaty, drunk guys, thinking they can dance and feel you up on the dance floor is what dreams are made of. Maybe that’s why we are seeing an increase in the population of assholes!

      • Ollie Bedford

        Hahaha :)

    • girl

      Hahaha why do guys buy us so many drinks then?? And then try to take us home?

  • Rigo Costa

    I wanna meet this guy, this is so bloody true.

  • Ehren

    And thus the girls night bible was written…..

  • guilty girl

    Absolutely brilliant. Had me cracking up.

  • Jesus

    You deserve a pint my friend! Very very true every word of it!

  • Anonymous

    Having experienced many of these myself from the perspective you are writing from I can only say it is spot on!

  • Anon

    Being female I can say 100000% spot on mate! Any man to stay with a bunch of girls on a night out to the end deserves a medal …. Just sayin.

  • jak

    For you people who have said that’s one of the worst and weakest things you’ve ever seen you either are women or clearly gay because that’s girls all over (denial) cant wait to see the one on the lads mate hope its as accurate as this haha

    • JoeS7

      The part about creepy guys is especially true

  • Anonymous

    I don’t read the Tab articles for quality news or perfect grammar but for down to earth, honest articles. This is what I got – being the only male in my friendship group at uni this is what I experience 90% of nights out… a drama free night is a miracle!

  • Charlotte

    110% on point! I work at my SU bar and can spot each of these types a mile off! :P

  • Anon

    The grammar in this article really upset me.

    • Jim

      It’s upsetting to think that anyone is genuinely upset by the grammar of a light hearted, non-serious article about a ‘night out’.

  • Daniel James

    I’ve been here as the non-gay “gay friend” of someone I know and must say it all seems to be spot on, almost so much so i’m still not sure if it was written to be tongue-in-cheek or as a frank and honest depiction of a female night out.

    A male night out is the same except getting ready takes half the time, by the time the men are talking about the big match tomorrow the girls are still at home deciding and trying out what colour tampons to wear that night. Rush forward to a few hours later you’ll see all except the unlucky one of the group who never pulls desperately trying it on with the ugly mate left over from the ladies bunch, another couple of hours later it’s fight night in the kebab house then puke on home.

  • Douchey Article

    Yeeeeaaah! Lets chat abaat birds as if there anuvva species cos im a lad who dunno anyfing abaat gurls, too busy at the gim and playin fifa ladladladlad, stupid bitches cryin in toilets like wot gerls do and getting cheesy chips like wot boys do, dont wont are gurls getting biger than us ladladladlad

  • Holly

    this made me laugh so much! especially the part about the toilet cubicle picture

  • Kirsty

    Sounds exactly right to me :) from a girl who has and probably will do everything in this list :)

  • IMA laughing

    Spot on. This brought a huge smile to my face and much reminiscing of ALL the girlie nights I have had over the years. Forget the stereo type………this is reality (sometimes!

  • joseph green

    I thought it was pretty good and fair point to say that you will write an article on lads

  • Cam Wood

    Why do people complain or criticise tab articles?! They are not fucking serious. Timo i’m only annoyed cause you felt the need to apologise!

    No one can be thinking, christ can’t believe he is generalising like that. What an awful person..

    I read this article because a girl shared it with the comment “hahahaha oh dear”

    Life is too short to surely be letting this light hearted, fucking fairly true in most cases of the girls I know, article get you remotely down. Chin up girls.

  • Anonymous

    You missed the drinking so much that they can’t stand up, need help getting home safely and throwing up everywhere.

    Guys can do it too, but there are far fewer risks involved.

  • kimmy

    I love this! And you’re absolutely right! No shame. :P

  • Shannon Dearman

    100% accurate.

  • Anonym

    Roles Reversing! spot on!

  • Kirsty

    While reading this is was ticking off in my head which ine of my mates it would apply to! (Myself included haha!)
    Bravo! :)

  • Jasmine

    This is hilarious and undeniably accurate.
    Can’t wait to see the lads night out article.

  • Tasha

    From a woman’s point of view…reading this….OH MY GOD…Dude you are a ledge!!! I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s so true. I can’t stand half of these things that girls do! Dude you rock! Well said :)

  • Ravetothegrave

    This sounds like a shit night out

  • Lilibeth Bunny

    I thought this was spot on. The cheesy chips part in the taxi really made me chuckle.

  • GDC

    I am male, and i have suffered the same experience but a boys night out is probably worse, as it tends to be all about pulling, hence the creeps. the best way for a night out, is a good mix of both genders. also, wtf is with all the sexist comments, yeah women get into some states, but so do lads, if not worse. at the end of the day, we are all fucking human, we are all capable of the worst, and the best. and also, the dude who can’t spell and thinks that a towie or made in chelsea girl is a picture of perfection, you need to learn that they are the worst type of women (100% fake and complete bitchs), but then again, looking at your comment, kinda seems like your perfect for eachother. i think its about time humanity thought, you have a penis, oh you have a vagina, WHO GIVES A FUCK!

  • Emmy Kennedy

    this is brilliant! sums up my night outs xD but wouldn’t say cheesy chips or keba more likely Maccy Ds

  • Rosie Hunter

    loved this, agree with everything you said haha!

  • Chlo

    That’s brilliant! So very true, when you invent a way to attach GPS to a pair of stiletto’s I’m so in! Cheesy chips are amazing, and ‘pre drinks/getting ready’ has rebel known to last longer and be more fun, than the whole night out! X

  • Nick

    Going out getting pissed is pointless, you spend alot of money, stand a chance of pulling a pig and waking up feeling like Shit, even more so if the pig is laying next to you in the morning. Smoke bud instead #420

    • Sakara

      Lol not everyone goes out to pull.

    • Jesus

      you have the right mindset brother

    • jayjd

      wait til you get the “pig” pregnant and she kicking you out the house at 3am for mcdonalds that she HAS TO HAVE or you will be punished physically or verbally for the rest of your useful life. even the strongest bud cant stop you dying inside lol

  • Sakara

    I’m a girl and I completely agree about the toilet cubicle thing! Why do girls pee together?! Peeing is not a group activity.

  • Anon

    Lads night out from a girls perspective.

  • Herculine

    i completely agree with this. it is so true! and i always ask the question ‘why do “girls” do these things?!’

  • Anonymous

    How the fuck did this get past the editors? I’ve seen less mistakes in a Primary School SATs test.

    • Guest

      Language is for communicating. If they communicated what they meant OK then success. Did you understand the article? If yes then why would it need conventionally perfect grammar?

      • Grant

        ^
        unless youre trying to impress someone, gramurr doesnt make a difference.

    • billybob

      *fewer mistakes. Good luck with the re-sits.

  • Claire brown

    Aha this is Brilliant I always want cheesy chips at the end if the night. Couldnt be more accurate

  • Grant

    You forgot the shame shots, sorry, ‘selfies’

  • Chris

    You forgot the bit where all of them go to the bathroom at once, now I have no idea what goes on in there but they always seem to cone out with a complete stranger as a new best friend

  • Mah

    It would make me very unhappy to have to do almost any of this. I would applaud you for being able to stand it if I wasn’t questioning why you bothered ha ha I would have definitely said no and taken the abuse!!!

  • anonymous

    please stop writing: ‘i swear to God’. It’s so repetitive!

  • Kaz

    Yes. I’m a gay lady, and I’m gonna go ahead and say that although there are some significant differences, our nights out look a hell of a lot like this, too. We are a strange breed, us women.

  • Jennifer

    This is why I almost always party with both boys and girls . I can not stand the drama! So if I do party with only girls I’m the one who gets missing and the rest of the girls will most likley not see me again that night haha.

  • Bex

    I’m definitely the ‘cheesy chips’ girl! Xxx

  • Anonymous

    I completely agree, I’m a girl and even I don’t understand half the things they do…

  • dashni

    SPOT ON

  • Samantha

    Brilliant!!!!

  • annon

    THIS IS SOOO TRUE AND IM A GIRL hahahah lighten up peepz

  • Callum Bonnyman

    blokes night out: go to the pub, go home

  • Paul

    You forgot the how long they stay in the toilets leaving you waiting outside. I think they really go to narnia

    • Els

      Haha Narnia that is so bloody true imagine now being a girl queuing up to go the loo and having to wait hours so 3 girls in a cubicle can have their Narnia adventure! I’m a girl and girls drive me mad!!

  • splooge

    it is not sexist to point out females cannot handle their drinks like males. Not just due to size difference but also the metabolism rate and apparently the muscle,fat and water ratio of the body makes the difference. Dont quite recall the details, just remembering what the teacher said in high school, which rings true in person when you drink with your female friends.
    5 years after high school, I swear the liquor has aged and damaged them far worse then my guy friends. The alcohol really “dried up” their faces.

  • Miss Ladygirl

    Oh, unfortunately this is spot on. Hilarious! I like to think we grow out of it… Or more realistically stop drinking quite so.much to avoid sed behaviour lol

  • Anonymous

    I found the ‘comments’ far more interesting than the original post. You pretty much are all idiots. Funny! But all the same, stupid as shit.

  • sven

    poorly written

  • Gandhi

    Bitches ain’t shit but hoes n tricks

  • Queen of the Goon

    I relate to this too much haha.

  • pal gascoigne

    tame, my nights consist of snorting coke from a hooker’s arschenhaller, grabbing a fishing rod and roast chicken and heading down to the local gunman, after of course masturbating in the bread isle of aldi.

  • Wodka

    Oh yes, I’ve seen the crying. Drunken female mood swings are something to behold. And the creepers always seem to be 20 years older than our group… *shudder*
    Although I dunno about the food thing… I’ve dragged our group off a few times to get pizza, I don’t think that’s exclusive to girls :P

  • Lady Bee

    Well said! :)

  • we are tottenham

    This is good shite. By this I mean 1 or more of these things happens every time I’m with my missus and her mates. Get the bloke one done, should be good, only half as many!

  • Supernova456

    They’re acting more and more like little babies. Shocking to think in our parents generation it wasn’t unusual to have kids at 20-22, now they act like kids at a school disco.

  • CreepDoBop

    Having friends like this, I think it’s pretty damn true, I’m a girl myself, but I don’t do all this O.o Usually end up too busy mothering my friends who are pissed by 6 to drink ><

  • Rachael Boag

    i’m a girl however am a tomboy and lesbian. but oh this explains my girlfriend soooo well lol

  • ThrowawayD

    Guys do handle their alcohol better. They have more of the enzyme that breaks down alcohol, they are typically larger and take more to get drunk plus their bodies have a higher water content hence dilute their drinks more.

  • Beth

    Loved this article. carry on with the sterotype, its valid! very funny. poor lads having to put up with us. Spot on. but im sure you still enjoyed your night out? just a lot more hassle…

  • Jesus titty f##king Christ

    Blah blah something about grammar

  • Sammie Louise Beer

    haha brilliant! but everyone knows the life story of every girl? what about the mens version…

  • youradick

    A girls night out… from a sexists perspective

  • Angiieee

    this doesnt happen in Spain :P we genuinelly go out and dance until 6am then go home ;)

  • Loopy

    This is so true haha

  • Annon

    I second this where is my medal?!

  • anon

    It’s your bail it for spelling “anon” wrong.

  • qwd

    Anon isn’t a word, it’s a subjective abbreviation, meaning he can spell it like that. Don’t try to be clever when you’re not.

  • Banon

    really? so I can abbreviate anonymous however I like? retard

  • annony

    obviously with the letters already in the word -,- dumbass

  • Kibetha

    Which don’t actually involve a double ‘n’… dumbass.

  • Jack Baker

    Iyl annoy-0h-moosely say wot aye wahnt fanx xxx